Culture Shock - Navigating the Storm of a Toxic Manager

Hey there, Shannon here!

Imagine working in a place where you feel like every day is a battlefield, not because of the workload but because of your manager.

This is a world where your manager's favorite weapon is public humiliation. Instead of fostering a culture of growth and collaboration, they choose to belittle employees in front of their peers, leaving morale shattered and confidence in ruins. The inspiration for this subject came to us from a reader of the blog named Mike who is currently facing this exact situation.

Mike's submission stated: "I have a boss. She is great. But the VP of my department is a jerk. He's an aggressive alpha type. He will call me out in front of everyone in our online meetings for any mistake. It makes me question his leadership. How do you deal with someone that can ruin your career if you don't just sit quietly and accept his bullying? In my experience, you praise in public and discipline in private."

First of all, thank you Mike for your submission and question! This is a subject I feel many of us can relate to as we have had a manager who wasn't the greatest at one point or other.

This can be a sticky situation, as Mike pointed out. It's a complicated issue with many different ways you could handle it.

I agree wholeheartedly with praise in public and discipline in private. This goes for any industry. Using a mistake to humiliate one of your employees to make an example out of them is not only wrong but can lead to high turn-over if employees simply refuse to deal with the ridicule. This can hurt the bottom line of the company over time. So, let's start there.

You need to have a serious conversation with your direct manager if they are not the one demonstrating the behavior. Is this behavior something that everyone just accepts and takes from this gentleman simply because he is the VP? Is his direct leader aware of the behavior?

Also, examine the company culture. Does the company culture align with this type of behavior or is it known that this isn't something the company wants to tolerate or embody? These are all important questions for moving forward toward a solution.

A direct approach may be exactly what is needed. A meeting with your direct leader and the VP may be an option to discuss this and see if there is a path forward. Is he open to feedback, as any good leader should be? Maybe he is unaware that the behavior is off-putting.

It's said that people do not quit companies, they quit bad managers. It isn't that cut and dry, though. Just leaving a job - especially with the current job market how it is - is not a viable option for most people. In that case, you have a choice to make.

If the conversations are had and the behavior persists or becomes even more threatening and combative, it may be worth it to start looking for greener pastures if you are able to. If you aren't able to do that, or do not want to risk it which is understandable, it may be time to take that feedback higher up. HR would be a great place to start if the direct conversations get you nowhere. They are there to help facilitate these types of conversations.

Do you have an open-door communication policy with your CEO? Would the CEO react well to knowing that one of their VPs is going out of their way to humiliate an employee? It all depends on how high you want to take it and if the manager is acting in a way that is customary for the company or if they have gone rogue.

I, like many of you, have dealt with this situation before as well. My current company is fantastic and does not put up with this sort of behavior from their team leaders or VP's. However, when I worked in machining it was a very different story. The CEO of the company was fantastic. My head supervisor was also fantastic. My direct manager, though, not so much.

He was not above breaking ethics rules if it fancied him. It made the workplace hostile and uncomfortable to say the very least. At the time, I did not have the option to leave as I was still in college and had no real way to get another job at the time. I stuck it out for eight years. When the opportunity to move to my current company came up, I took that opportunity and never looked back.

So, my advice is this. If you're able to have those conversations and help the situation that way? By all means, do that. Start there. Ask for a meeting with HR, your direct manager, and the VP in question. Write out a list of instances. Come in prepared with examples and notes. Make sure you also come in with what you believe should be the solutions. Going in with only grievances looks bad and won't get you anywhere with anyone. Provide CONSTRUCTIVE feedback.

If this is not an option for you, or you are uncomfortable with having those conversations, or if you know that the company culture is one where that sort of behavior is acceptable? It may be time to spruce up your resume and start looking for either another team within the same company or a different company with a culture that fits your expectations and where you can thrive. Life is too short and loyalty to a company is not what it used to be anymore.

If you can have those conversations and it gets you somewhere - which it likely will in most cases - great! If not, it's time to start looking at other options.

What is your experience with Managers who are aggressive or who belittle their employees? How did you handle that situation? Did you stay, did you go? Join the conversation and I'll see you next week!